Sat in the pine, 8:30-9:00 a.m.
Still growing accustomed to how early the sun rises these days.
Many different kinds of birds were singing in the pines around me and beyond. Robins sang the only song I recognized.
Went through the body awareness scan, head to foot, then tuned in first to my vision and then to my hearing.
The world offers so much to us, such an infinite array of sounds and sensations and sights all in one moment. When I have been asleep, living in amongst my thoughts, as I have for months now, it requires such deliberate, hard work to let go of the thoughts and just open up to what is around me. And when I do, as I was able to for a few minutes today, I am simply overwhelmed by the cacophany, the chaos of sensations. I know from past experience that it is peaceful to live in a state of awareness most of the time, but from my current perspective, that "dull, vapid mindstate" (perfect description, Kate), there is simply too much to behold all at once.
I've been ignoring all of it for such a long time - the shifting sunlight on the pine needles, the different birdsongs all dancing through the air simultaneously, the nuances of light and shadow on the pine bough, the awareness of my own breathing body in the midst of it all - that to open up to all of it is to feel like my mind is exploding, like I'm going into a tidal wave too immense to survive.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment