Blankets & Seats

recieved a gift from my friend and mother-in-law today: seats made from our 'grandfather pine' that fell in the snow storm last april. he was the companion pine to our grandmother pine, falling a year before her. i like that part of him will be staying with us, and in such a useful way. they are very simple: batting, covered by upholstery cloth that is tacked down onto the wood. they're the perfect height to sit comfortably, and they make our house more the kind of house i want it to be.


dusk sit. boy wrapped again in the sling and his nana's blanket, sleeping soundly. dog decided to sit by me almost the whole time. he grew chilly during the sit, shivering. cool night.

focused on listening and seeing during my sit tonight. doves cooed and whistled their wings a couple of times in a tree behind me. a couple of diminutive birds flew from the pine in the center of our yard to our apple. the smoke rose steadily and lustily from the pile of burnt branches. the cars went by. the dog snuffed about, and the grass he trod on sprang back up. the grass, grown thicker and bedecked in dandelions, gil-over-the-ground, and bluets since yesterday's rain, was pleasingly scraggly, like a horse's winter coat. peaceful sit.

before we got up to bring the dog to warm in the house, a peeper called out from our now-full frog pond. others immediately chimed in, as though they all had been sitting in readiness, wanting to chirp, but without quite enough confidence to start. how we keep our passions silent, when we may be surrounded by a chorus.

tonight i am having one of those times when i feel as though things are rather pointless. i'm living my life, going on, earning some money, paying bills, getting up in the morning and going to bed at night, interacting with my husband and our son, just going on and on. i have been in this place emotionally in the past, and a common thread is that in this state, i lack appreciation for what i have. it feels as though my life will go on exactly like this for eternity, so i have nothing to pay attention to or to be thankful for. i don't know what gets me into this state. but i do believe that prayer, giving thanks for and attending to all of the things and people around me, will nudge me back into awareness......my dog just threw up on the rug, reminding me of his near-attack of pancreatitis this weekend (he managed to eat a third of a stick of butter out of a grocery bag, and i managed to get him to throw most of it up). i'm now alert.