3:30 pm sit
Misting, 61 degrees
Sank deeply into details today for some reason. Had to keep wrenching my attention out of what was in front of me in order to check in with bird calls, weather, etc.
I have been noticing that I'm far more receptive to my intuition lately, following "feelings" more fluidly than I usually do. When I have a sense of when to do something, for instance, I've begun just following it rather than thinking through it to figure out if this seems rationally like the best timing. And invariably, when I follow this inner guidance, things work out more smoothly than when I try to bend them to my own preferences or reasoning.
Felt called to sit at the base of my tree today rather than in the branches. From my new vantage point, I noticed a gash in the trunk near the ground that was actively dripping sap. The crystal-clear droplets, dangling from the bark and just about to fall to the earth, glistened in the sun. I leaned in to blow my breath against them, but they didn't move a hair. They were completely solid, like an unbearably fragile, frozen moment. A dandelion seed joined them in their stillness, hovering in the air a couple inches away, captive to an unseen spider's web. Snapshots of a moment held in this tiny enclave against the tree trunk. They recall to me Eckhart Tolle's line that goes something like, "Die before you die, and discover that there is no death."
The new growth of the tiny beech is about ten inches long now, the tender stems still holding their white down. The leaves are ironing themselves out, the sharp ridges from their emergence beginning to relax and smooth. A crane fly clumsily barreled into one, skidded across, got its bearings and continued on through the branches.
A sapling growing beside the beech is showing some bright orange spots on its leaves, one of them with a ring of tiny orange pods all around it, resembling insect eggs.
I ascended the tree when it felt right, being careful not to wedge my bare foot too far into the gap between the trunks. As I sat, a horsefly bumped into my head, then flew a short way off to perch on a twig, its head and torso upright, like the dancing spider from a couple of weeks ago.
Robins, chickadees, three birds I didn't identify. Crickets, our ducks. The tree frogs seem to be spreading out all over the land these days. One moved onto our deck yesterday, it's high trill resonating through our porch. Another climbed up the front of our house to the gutter, singing shyly as I worked in the front garden this afternoon.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
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